It was a good nights sleep and I was glad to get a good rest after the long day yesterday and the day before. We packed up quickly and were ready to leave just before 9:30am. We had a short walk down the hill to Kilfinnan. We were all much more relaxed and we had some banter as we strolled along in the fine morning air. As we descended, we spotted Richard's car down at the farm where he was waiting to pick us up.
A few hundred metres from the car, Steve turned to us and told us that it had been a pleasure and that we had all done very well. He sent the others on ahead and turned to me to say that we were going to have a bit of a chat. I had a pretty good idea about what he was about to say; I immediately thought of my logbook. Steve said that he and Richard had noticed that my logbook was a little 'light'. I suddenly felt a thick lump in my throat. Last week I had made sure that my logbook was up to date and it had details of absolutely everything related that I had ever done. However, when I looked over what a quality mountain day was, I knew that a few of the entries just didn't cut it. But I wanted to give the assessment a go anyway and if I failed then so be it. Steve was very nice about it and he asked me if there were any more quality mountain days that I hadn't entered in my log. I said that I didn't think so. He reminded me that, during the SML training, he had stressed the importance of lots of experience and a more than adequate log book. We joined the others and Richard greeted us warmly. I was a little deflated after that chat but I was glad it was over and I was pleased with how I had performed. Now all I could do was wait for the verdict; but I wasn't holding my breath.
Richard was in good spirits; he chatted away to us as he drove us back to Calluna. He wanted to hear all about our expedition and I got the impression that he was a bit gutted not to have gone with us. He dropped us off and asked us to meet him and Steve at a cafe in Fort William in an hour. We were glad of the hot shower and a brew. After packing up our gear we had a quick chat and a brew. James was pleased with how it had gone and we agreed that the whole week had been like a 24hr constant driving test; mentally draining and with no feedback... for 5 days straight. Certainly not something we would forget in a hurry. I told James what Steve had talked to me about on the way off the hill this morning. I told him that I reckoned I had done pretty well throughout the week but I didn't think I would pass on my logbook. All of a sudden James started worrying about his logbook and whether he had enough days too. This made me chuckle to myself, as I knew how experienced James was. I was relieved it was over and my real concern was that I hadn't done enough and I would have to come back and do the whole week again.
We loaded up James' car and headed into the centre to meet the others. Everyone was already there; Steve and Richard were sitting at a table at the front of the cafe and they directed us to sit at a table at the back with Darren and Mike while they talked things over. James and I were straight in with the order of coffee, orange juice and bacon rolls; definitely feeling the need to rehydrate and replenish our broken bodies. We were called up individually to be debriefed by Steve and Richard. Darren went first and wasn't away very long; he came back grinning and said that he was really pleased with the positive comments he had been given. I was pleased for him, as he seemed like a really good guy and it was a pleasure to be on the same assessment as him - great company. James also came back beaming, as I expected - I knew he had done really well, despite his own concerns. Mike was gone for quite some time and I took the opportunity to order another coffee. Mike came back looking rather sheepish but said that he had passed. I was up last. I grabbed my coffee mug and sat down opposite Richard and Steve.
Richard kicked things off by going through my logbook and, taking each entry in turn, explained if it qualified as a quality mountain day or not. He said that my experience was really quite weak but he had been quite generous in counting 17 of the entries as quality mountain days. Richard said that I seemed to lack a bit of confidence managing the group on steep ground and I told him that I agreed. Steve then went through the expedition and said that he could tell that I was quite nervous - I said that I had been very nervous throughout the week - but he thought it was a bit more than that. He thought that I had lacked some decisiveness in my decision making and route finding. He knew that this was down to my lack of experience. They told me that due to my lack of experience and the fact that I had only done the training a few months ago that I would usually have to come back and repeat the entire week of assessment. I suddenly felt nauseous and my heart started to sink, but then everything became a torrent of praise and positives. I was told that what I had achieved this week was "amazing" and that my navigation and rope work was excellent. Richard said that if I had the required logged experience, then I would probably have a pass! Instead, they had deferred me and they were going to make come back for a single day of reassessment with a small group on steep ground. I was told not to take this as a kick in the teeth and not to be disappointed as they had been very impressed with my technical skills on the hill. They told me that I would be a great leader in the hills with a little more experience.
I was overwhelmed with their positive comments and kind words and I agreed with everything they said. I told them that I had a feeling that I wasn't quite ready for the assessment coming into this week - I thought my logbook and experience was a little lacking. But I also told them that I knew I had the technical skills and was comfortable with my navigation and rope work - but I wanted to give it my best and now I was happy with the outcome. I told Steve and Richard that I had the utmost respect for them and that their comments meant the world to me and I would take their advice onboard about what to do next. Steve said that I needed to go and get 'lost' in the bigger hills on my own and have some adventures. He knew that I did a lot with GWC and that was great but I needed to have more solo epics and expeditions. He recommended that I should go down to the Lake District over the Christmas period and do some walking in easy winter conditions. Richard said that I shouldn't come back for reassessment for at least 12 months, that the deferral was valid for 5 years and I needed at least 20 more quality mountain days. I felt like hugging both of them but instead we shock hands warmly and I thanked them for a great week. The others came over and we all shook hands and went our separate ways.
As James and I headed back to Edinburgh, we were absolutely over the moon and buzzing with the outcome. Looking back I really couldn't have imagined just how well the week had gone - I really didn't think I could have pulled it off. My advice to anyone would be: don't put in for your assessment until you're more than ready for it. It's one of the hardest things I have ever done; like a constant driving test for 5 days with no feedback - a large amount of mental pressure. I'm glad to have done it and it's a great feeling knowing that I'll never have to complete the full week again.
A fantastic outcome.
A few hundred metres from the car, Steve turned to us and told us that it had been a pleasure and that we had all done very well. He sent the others on ahead and turned to me to say that we were going to have a bit of a chat. I had a pretty good idea about what he was about to say; I immediately thought of my logbook. Steve said that he and Richard had noticed that my logbook was a little 'light'. I suddenly felt a thick lump in my throat. Last week I had made sure that my logbook was up to date and it had details of absolutely everything related that I had ever done. However, when I looked over what a quality mountain day was, I knew that a few of the entries just didn't cut it. But I wanted to give the assessment a go anyway and if I failed then so be it. Steve was very nice about it and he asked me if there were any more quality mountain days that I hadn't entered in my log. I said that I didn't think so. He reminded me that, during the SML training, he had stressed the importance of lots of experience and a more than adequate log book. We joined the others and Richard greeted us warmly. I was a little deflated after that chat but I was glad it was over and I was pleased with how I had performed. Now all I could do was wait for the verdict; but I wasn't holding my breath.
Richard was in good spirits; he chatted away to us as he drove us back to Calluna. He wanted to hear all about our expedition and I got the impression that he was a bit gutted not to have gone with us. He dropped us off and asked us to meet him and Steve at a cafe in Fort William in an hour. We were glad of the hot shower and a brew. After packing up our gear we had a quick chat and a brew. James was pleased with how it had gone and we agreed that the whole week had been like a 24hr constant driving test; mentally draining and with no feedback... for 5 days straight. Certainly not something we would forget in a hurry. I told James what Steve had talked to me about on the way off the hill this morning. I told him that I reckoned I had done pretty well throughout the week but I didn't think I would pass on my logbook. All of a sudden James started worrying about his logbook and whether he had enough days too. This made me chuckle to myself, as I knew how experienced James was. I was relieved it was over and my real concern was that I hadn't done enough and I would have to come back and do the whole week again.
We loaded up James' car and headed into the centre to meet the others. Everyone was already there; Steve and Richard were sitting at a table at the front of the cafe and they directed us to sit at a table at the back with Darren and Mike while they talked things over. James and I were straight in with the order of coffee, orange juice and bacon rolls; definitely feeling the need to rehydrate and replenish our broken bodies. We were called up individually to be debriefed by Steve and Richard. Darren went first and wasn't away very long; he came back grinning and said that he was really pleased with the positive comments he had been given. I was pleased for him, as he seemed like a really good guy and it was a pleasure to be on the same assessment as him - great company. James also came back beaming, as I expected - I knew he had done really well, despite his own concerns. Mike was gone for quite some time and I took the opportunity to order another coffee. Mike came back looking rather sheepish but said that he had passed. I was up last. I grabbed my coffee mug and sat down opposite Richard and Steve.
Richard kicked things off by going through my logbook and, taking each entry in turn, explained if it qualified as a quality mountain day or not. He said that my experience was really quite weak but he had been quite generous in counting 17 of the entries as quality mountain days. Richard said that I seemed to lack a bit of confidence managing the group on steep ground and I told him that I agreed. Steve then went through the expedition and said that he could tell that I was quite nervous - I said that I had been very nervous throughout the week - but he thought it was a bit more than that. He thought that I had lacked some decisiveness in my decision making and route finding. He knew that this was down to my lack of experience. They told me that due to my lack of experience and the fact that I had only done the training a few months ago that I would usually have to come back and repeat the entire week of assessment. I suddenly felt nauseous and my heart started to sink, but then everything became a torrent of praise and positives. I was told that what I had achieved this week was "amazing" and that my navigation and rope work was excellent. Richard said that if I had the required logged experience, then I would probably have a pass! Instead, they had deferred me and they were going to make come back for a single day of reassessment with a small group on steep ground. I was told not to take this as a kick in the teeth and not to be disappointed as they had been very impressed with my technical skills on the hill. They told me that I would be a great leader in the hills with a little more experience.
I was overwhelmed with their positive comments and kind words and I agreed with everything they said. I told them that I had a feeling that I wasn't quite ready for the assessment coming into this week - I thought my logbook and experience was a little lacking. But I also told them that I knew I had the technical skills and was comfortable with my navigation and rope work - but I wanted to give it my best and now I was happy with the outcome. I told Steve and Richard that I had the utmost respect for them and that their comments meant the world to me and I would take their advice onboard about what to do next. Steve said that I needed to go and get 'lost' in the bigger hills on my own and have some adventures. He knew that I did a lot with GWC and that was great but I needed to have more solo epics and expeditions. He recommended that I should go down to the Lake District over the Christmas period and do some walking in easy winter conditions. Richard said that I shouldn't come back for reassessment for at least 12 months, that the deferral was valid for 5 years and I needed at least 20 more quality mountain days. I felt like hugging both of them but instead we shock hands warmly and I thanked them for a great week. The others came over and we all shook hands and went our separate ways.
As James and I headed back to Edinburgh, we were absolutely over the moon and buzzing with the outcome. Looking back I really couldn't have imagined just how well the week had gone - I really didn't think I could have pulled it off. My advice to anyone would be: don't put in for your assessment until you're more than ready for it. It's one of the hardest things I have ever done; like a constant driving test for 5 days with no feedback - a large amount of mental pressure. I'm glad to have done it and it's a great feeling knowing that I'll never have to complete the full week again.
A fantastic outcome.
